Is it obscene? Part One

Dear Blog:

My sister has a subscription of Us Weekly. I don't care about this magazine. But on this particular day, I took the magazine to look at the pictures while I was eating a snack. I needed something light. One of the articles were, "Who's Been Naughty or Nice?" Carrie Prejean, the former Miss California, was one the celebrities mentioned. She was "naughty." That's nice! The caption went on to say that Radaronline.com had reported that Ms. Prejean had made seven more sex tapes in addition to the one that caused the scandal. Seven more tapes!!! What a little whore!

I finished my cereal and I was ready to go back to work. I meant to return the magazine but I forgot, so I placed it on my desk.

Time passed. It was now a little after 12:00 am. I was about to turn off my computer, but then I took a glance to the right. "Seven tapes!" Without hesitation, I googled Carrie Prejean, sexy Prejean, naked Carrie Prejean, Carrie Prejean tapes, Prejean sex tapes… I guess that the more I searched, the hornier I got. Oh God! I wanted to see Carrie Prejean naked. In a video preferably. I wasn't successful. But all the searches led to sites offering "naked celebrities." Clicked on one of them but it was pretty boring. Yeah…it had the beautiful Adriana Lima topless and Madonna naked, but I wanted Carrie Prejean! The site offered links to other sites. Well, I clicked on those. Then, clicked some more. It was 1:00 a.m. By this time, I had become a robot. My body was stiff. I didn't blink. I didn't move, save for my right index finger pushing the button on the mouse. Sites became progressively "darker." After much clicking, it led to a site where users have the opportunity to post videos of any kind, from hardcore (even shocking) porn to outrageous (sometimes funny) accidents or situations. The premise on this site appeared to be, "anything goes" kind of stuff though most appeared to be straight out porn. On the home page of this site which I won't name, it had a video titled something along these lines: "idiot misses water on a dive." I should have known better. The title was already a give away as to what will happen. But I was curious. I clicked on it. It was my first. It was the most shocking and horryfying thing I have ever seen.

I turned off the computer. I couldn't go to sleep. On the following day, the video was haunting me all day. I was thinking about my own soul and what led me there in the first place. I was also thinking about the injured man and the people who downloaded the video on that site.

I think I need to pray.

God, please help me. God, please help us all.

Holger

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